Sunday, December 2, 2007

Happy Birthday Britney Spears and Me

Being that I turn 45 today, I thought it would be a good day to evaluate my life thus far. My childhood years were anxiety ridden due to my older brothers serious illness which caused his death at 18 and another brother with the same genetic illness's death at the age of 12. I always had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was next.
I lived a very 'safe' life. I did not take chances. I did not experiment. I stayed home when I was not in school because I just knew something terrible would happen if I ventured out in the 'real' world.
Because of this, I find it hard to meet new people and try new things but I do try to push myself to do just that. Luckily my husband recognizes my fear and encourages me all the time to try something new and to get out of the house.
Well my biggest challenge last year was to really get my small craft business going. I did some research and found etsy. With each item is made the anxiety rose. Those awful what ifs set in. What if someone buys it and hates it? What if it falls apart? What if I become a laughing stock? The idea of failure was just overwhelming.
Well this year I have to report my sales are up dramatically and my feedback is just so wonderful. With increased confidence comes the will to be better and to succeed. My skills have improved tenfold since I started and I feel I can be part of this 'real world.' Of course I will probably get a negative feedback once in a while and I will have to deal with that and move on. No one is perfect and we will all make mistakes.
I like to think I started this business for the money but it really is an extension of me and what I can do and who I can be once the fear is kept at bay.
I have come a long way. Happy Birthday to me and my fellow sagittarians.
Britney Spears is also celebrating a birthday today. Hopefully by the time she has reached my age, things will have settled down for her too!

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